Archive for the ‘overheard on my g-chat’ Category

Old People

In overheard on my g-chat on July 21, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Old people who say they don’t know how to use technology are stupid. Right now I am G-Chatting with my 83-year-old grandpa. He was using the internet before I was.

Edit: Or, right now I’m G-Chatting with my 12-year-old brother on our grandpa’s account. TRICKED.

5:46 PM Grandpa: Hello Annie, this is your grandpa. How’s your new apartment?
me: hi grandpa!
it is nice but we don’t move in until september!
5:47 PM Grandpa: I remember when I was your age I lived in an apartment!
me: in jamaica plain?
5:48 PM Grandpa: No in San Diego California
me: i didn’t know you lived in san diego!
5:49 PM Grandpa: Yes I lived there from age 21 to 24
5:50 PM im just kidding! this is really jonathan! 😀
Grandpa: lol out loud
Whatever. I still stand by my point that old people who don’t adapt to technology are stupid. Just like I will be stupid when I don’t let my grandchildren drive me around in their hybrid hover-cars. If cars still exist.

What’s worse: graduation, or the year after?

In malaise, overheard on my g-chat, useless degrees on May 25, 2008 at 5:05 pm
12:50 PM me: on a scale of1 to 10, how pathetic is your life if you eat stale peeps [from easter] ?
12:52 PM Rachel: -5
some ppl say they taste better stale
think of it as a delicacy
12:53 PM me: like those hundred-year-eggs that are all the rage in china!
12:54 PM Rachel: YEAH
its kind of like, welcome to high class
So in college you eat stale pizza from out of the garbage, or maybe stale chicken wings that have been left out all day [true stories, both.] and a year after your illustrious graduation wherein you were going to Change The World And Simultaneously Find Thine Self Abroad, you are clearing your impossibly messy [seriously: how do I let this happen?] room of its empty beer bottles and cigarette cartons whilst contemplating your gainful unemployment and ways to make money beyond stimulus packages [oh yeah, your roommate still owes you money from four months ago!!] and eating stale peeps from Easter.
We lead a charmed life, don’t we?

I know it’s trendy to hate Facebook

In GMail, overheard on my g-chat on April 3, 2008 at 3:47 pm

..but I fucking hate Facebook.

11:26 AM me: i really hate that ‘people you may know’ feature on facebook
11:27 AM Alex: really?
it helped me find some people
me: because it’s all people i’ve defriended
Alex: ahahahahahahahaah
me: i really hope i don’t show up in theirs
thats so disconcerting
theyll know that i found them dull and uninteresting
11:28 AM Alex: haha i’m glad my facebook profile has managed to fascinate you for so long
me: oh not their profiles, as people
they were dull and uninteresting
11:29 AM Alex: ohhh ok
11:30 AM me: anyway, it turns out that i shouldnt have defriended them because now ben dwertman has more friends than i do on facebook
11:31 AM Alex: oh man annie
in some ways we’re so alike
and in others so different


11:32 AM Allison: i got refriended by someone i defriended
bah humbug! I’m going to go play Scrabulous and check my NewsFeed to see if I made it into anyone’s “Favorite Quotes”.
[This post is dedicated to Genny, fellow facebook lover/hater, and Ben Dwertman, who I promised would not get quoted in my blog. -Ed.]

Judging Partners’ Books

In books, GMail, overheard on my g-chat on March 31, 2008 at 11:57 pm
4:39 PM me: the problem with judging peoples’ book collections is that I have way more books than any guy i date
4:41 PM Ben: i hope i’d never get judged on the basis of my reading
 me: i hope i would!!
4:42 PM Ben: yeah, i think you’d stand up well
  i don’t think i’d make a standard grade
 me: well, i do have this one harold bloom book but its from 9th grade

Notes from the white-collar ghetto, Pt. 1

In notes from the white collar ghetto, overheard on my g-chat, useless degrees on February 26, 2008 at 7:38 pm
9:27 AM Genny: HAHAHAHA
me: it is retarded how much beer i drink
Genny: It definitely is. I feel like I weenie college student but whatever
Genny: LOL
9:28 AM how many drinks did you have last night?
me: its because we’re ambitious young scholars who somehow got caught in a white collar ghetto
Genny: i mean, i don’t know about you but i work for the weekend. pathetic
me: oh ive been ultra lghtweighty because ive been sick but probably 4 or 5 beerz
Genny: a white collar ghetto
me: enough to blur vision and for me to raise my decibel level to a very unladylike proportion
9:29 AM and absolutely i work for the weekend but most weeks i am drinking beerz by wednesday night, at least
9:30 AM Genny: yeah, i stopped counting my beers.
i drank for 5 hours
by 6
me: the day of the week that i start drinking is inversely proportional to how hungover I got the prior weekend.
we should write a blog post about this

Overheard on my G-Chat:

In GMail, overheard on my g-chat on February 20, 2008 at 2:13 am

tania: i miss him too

me: 😦 😦 😦
our world is changing
9:06 PM tania: yeah but i bet you will be able to buy cuban cigars in the states in the next 5 years
me: haHA!
tania: cuban products: here they come.
what do they even have to offer us?
9:07 PM it is all probably so good
me: more che posters!!
tania: HA HA HA
me: because college students in the us dont have enough!!
[re: da newz]

Overheard on my G-Chat:

In craigslist, GMail, overheard on my g-chat on February 15, 2008 at 5:00 pm
11:55 AM Jason: haha i love missed connections
  “b train girl with a nose ring (allston)”

[in response to this guy, who posts every day. I’m starting to flag him. I’m a Craigslist Vigilante.]